die Rückkehr

I am back. Kinda… Sorta… Well as much as one can be after such a prolonged hiatus. In typical fashion, I shall be explaining why I’m posting (or at least hoping) this fine continuation of the vignette of my life. After being inspired by a certain someone who rereads old blog posts of mine for nolstalgic reasons and procrastinating exam prep for radiology and pathology, I went back and did the same and unexpected I found myself caught in a cycle of uncontrollable laughter, deep embarrassment/fail and epic facepalms. Yet I couldn’t help but finish reading with a giant smile on my face. The real beauty of journals/diaries and blogs. I was really surprised at how much time I had invested into this and how personal I made it despite it’s public accessibility. At one point last year I had thought about shutting down this wordpress. But I’m glad I spent the time and I’m glad I made it personal and most of all I’m glad I didn’t shut it down because I’m hoping I can revisit and reread all these memories from my youth and I start losing it (anyone know how to backup all my posts on here?). I’m just here to inscribe my memories onto this exposed digital format for when I cannot recall them anymore in old age. You guys are probably along for the ride and some may see it as a good way to maybe keep track of my life(for those who care) but I rather you talk with me in person or at least over the phone =D

It’s been more than two and a half years since my first post on this blog. A lot has changed since then (duh) and some things still haven’t. I’m moved out of home involuntary but now you wouldn’t be able to keep me back home for longer than 1-2months. I felt that as I’d get older, maturity would follow along but realised that as I actually start getting older, I’ve been trying to cling to things which make me feel younger and less mature. At first I believed that I had intentionally surrounded myself with significantly older uni friends in a subconscious effort to mature and snob at the immaturity  of all the other ‘highschoolers in university clothing’. But now it almost seems that the majority of my close friends here on the Gold Coast compliment my now apparent love of being the youngest. I just love rubbing in how I’m so much younger compared to them. Does that make me a bad person? =P Because I’m younger than most of them, I don’t have to deal with the problems that they do for a while. When they talk about lost chances and lost love, I’m in the midst of making them. When they talk about being set up on dates, internet dating, sex, marriage and family plans, I know I’m not even close to that stage. They don’t baby me or anything and I believe they see me as the same age just like I do with them, just we have different issues at this different stage of life.

Speaking of stages of life, I realised looking back on my Post HSC to do list(link on top) that I had managed to do none of them in the slightest besides getting a job and rewatching Detective Conan =.=” I do look forward to graduating and I’m counting down the last 3 years of uni. Ideal image atm is to go to wake too early in the morning, look at money to cheer me up remind me why I’m doing it, go home and cook a meal for two and to bugger off after dinner to the comforts of my lazyboy and watch anime till I fall asleep. I know the day I stop dreaming is the day I stop moving forward with my life and that’s depressing. Speaking of depressing, this semester I feel like I’ve gotten a small taste of fatherhood. Basically adopted my landlord’s dog as my own and despite him being 4, an adult in dog years, he’s so much like a little kid that I feel almost like a Dad. Don’t like what I’m seeing at all, my strictness is totally depressing but I can’t bring myself to spoil him =/ I think I’m better with my friend’s other two female dogs besides being a little over protective. Probably means I’d enjoy having daughters more but I’ll suffer from worry more with daughters >.<

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